Arriving too early

I have a theory I can't fully prove, so here it is roughly. If you work really hard and get rich young, before twenty-five or so, the years right after can be worse than the broke years. Worse in a quiet way. Nothing bad happens. You just stop wanting things.

When you're young and building something with no money, the goal runs your whole day. You don't decide much. You skip the wedding, you eat whatever is cheap, you're on your laptop at 3am and it feels normal. Most of your personality in those years is the goal, and you only find that out later.

Then it works. The first few weeks are great. You probably still have plenty to do: a company to run, people waiting on you, meetings. But one random Tuesday you notice you're doing all of it without the thing that used to make you do it. You still open the bank app out of habit. The number is fine. It was fine yesterday too.

Luxury wears off too. The first nice hotel feels unreal. By the tenth you are annoyed at the wifi. But I don't think boredom is really the problem. A normal person wants a car for six years. They look at it online, pick the color, mention it to friends, put it off again. Then one day they buy it. You just bought it. There was no six years, and the car alone turns out to be less than you thought.

And it doesn't stay with the expensive stuff. The drive to work goes quiet. Ordinary things stop landing the way they used to. The strange part is you can have everything you once wanted and still feel like a loser some days. Mostly you're left wondering what you're supposed to look forward to now. If it's gotten to where you're not sleeping or eating properly, that's a doctor thing, not something to sit with alone.

I think age is part of it too. Older people who make it usually have stuff around them already: kids, a marriage, friends from school, back pain. The money lands on all that. When you're young there often isn't much there yet besides the work, so when the reason behind the work is gone, there isn't a lot left standing.

You also can't really complain. I tried to think of who you'd even say this to. Friends who are still broke will hear bragging. Older rich people will think you're being dramatic. Your parents are just happy for you. So you don't say it.

Not everyone who makes it young falls apart, obviously. The ones who seem okay usually kept something the money couldn't touch, like old friends or a hobby they're still bad at.

Anyway. Make it if you can. Just don't expect it to feel the way you think it will.